Have You Brought Us Here to Die?
As many of you know, I struggled with a terrible cough throughout much of 2023. My doctors tell me the cough is caused by allergies, which I suppose is good news in that allergies aren’t usually fatal, but it’s bad news in that the treatment options are limited. I’ve spent a lot of time, energy, and expense this year freeing my house from unnecessary allergens, trying new medications and supplements, and trying to control my environment. It’s been exhausting and at times overwhelming, so when the allergen count is extremely low and I still cough, it can be discouraging.
Earlier this year, after yet another episode of coughing so hard I vomited, I cried to the Lord, “Have you brought me all this way (getting connected with GO! Ministries, being given so many opportunities to speak on apologetics and worldview, raising funds, etc.) just to leave me unable to speak without coughing?”
Of course, before I had even finished my thought, I thought of the Israelites and their whining in the wilderness. God had sent Moses to free them from hundreds of years of slavery in Egypt. He brought plague after plague the Egyptians until Pharaoh willingly let the people go. God then miraculously parted the Red Sea so the Israelites could cross it on dry ground, and once every Israelite had passed through, he brought the waters back over Pharaoh and his army so that they drowned. The Lord led them in a pillar of cloud by day and in a pillar of fire by night, so that they could travel by day or night. And when there was no water fit to drink as they passed through the Desert of Shur, the Lord miraculously turned the bitter water into drinkable water.
By Exodus 16, the Israelites had personally witnessed more miracles done on their behalf than most people dream of seeing in a lifetime. And yet, when they were hungry, they cried out to the Lord, faithless yet again, “If only we had died by the Lord’s hand in Egypt! There we sat around pots of meat and ate all the food we wanted, but you have brought us out into this desert to starve this entire assembly to death.”
In other words, “Lord, have you brought us all this way just to leave us to starve to death?” The sentiment was uncomfortably familiar.
And so I did what the Israelites should have done: I recounted what I’ve seen the Lord do. I recalled his character and his provision on this journey of 15 months without Scott, and on the 22-year journey with Scott, and during the three years that I walked with the Lord before I married Scott, and even what the Lord did in my life to protect and prepare me before I knew him. I also recalled the Lord’s work in the 4,000 years of recorded history before I was born. I remembered that he is good, he is able, and he is enough, whatever the outcome. And I praised him, and I rested in his goodness.
I don’t know how exactly this trial is going to play out, but I have reason to believe the Lord wants me to continue to speak, both because of what I saw him do this past year and because of what I understand his will to be in general. With this hope in mind, I’ve begun receiving allergy shots at my doctor’s recommendation. I’d love your prayers that the Lord will use these shots to greatly reduce or eliminate my allergies, and to prevent new allergies. This is the outcome for about 85% of patients.
Despite the many challenges I’ve encountered this year, I’ve still managed to:
Create at least seven new apologetics talks (scroll down for a list of topics here)
Give at least a dozen apologetics presentations (many were part of paid conferences and aren’t publicly available, but several are available here)
Create and record thirteen new podcasts
Write several articles (both for my own blog and for the Women in Apologetics blog)
Begin a doctoral program on full scholarship through the distance learning program at Birmingham Theological Seminary (ask me about this incredible provision sometime!)
If you’ve prayed for me or donated to me over the past 15 months, I can’t thank you enough! It means so much to me! If you’ve thought about giving financially but haven’t, I humbly ask you to consider whether this may be the time. While the generosity I’ve received has been considerable, my unexpected expenses for this year have been greater still, especially with the need to replace the crumbling, 25-year-old wooden-framed windows in my house. You may give a tax-deductible donation through my personal GO! Ministries page.
Thank you so much for your friendship, prayers, and gifts! May the Lord bless you and keep you, for his glory.
