If I were a misogynistic, sex-addicted, power-hungry, racist, white man, I would make it my mission to demonstrate my superiority by making angry, hopeless fools of everyone who differed from me. Toward this end, I would definitely start by turning the educated and influential away from God. I would tell them that Jesus' death on the cross was not the ultimate act of love and forgiveness, but an act of forced, divine child abuse. I would convince them that the One who elevated the status of women, minorities, and outcasts more than any other person was actually working against them to keep them down. In short, I would tell them that God is the opposite of everything their ancestors knew Him to be. After all, prideful elites love to believe that all who came before them were moronic fools, and that they, the all-knowing wise ones of the 21st century, are the first enlightened generation.

Next, I would target the women. After all, it is women who are the keepers of morality. I'd convince them they are being defrauded by not being able to engage in free and indiscriminate sex like men. I would manipulate their emotions, blind them to obvious truth and logic, and encourage them to fight for sex without commitment. I'd persuade them to do whatever it takes to be just like men, even killing their own babies if that's what they need to be free. I'd beguile them into hating everything that is unique and beautiful and good about themselves, and then I'd watch them throw off every moral hindrance that has ever frustrated me.

Once women were convinced that no one should ever be told what they can and can't do with their bodies, I would show them the logical conclusions of that argument and practice my right to violate every sweet young girl I encountered. Of course, women may draw the line there; they might even begin to conflate sexual assault and masculinity, but they wouldn't have a leg to stand on because they'd be committed to the "my body, my choice" argument. I can see it now - women desperately wanting to be men and yet hating us at the same time, sleeping around with a vengeance and yet taking care of the "side effects" all by themselves. Brilliant!

But I wouldn't stop there. Next, I'd go after the youth because they are the future, and I'd need them to give me the power I desire. I would need to distract them from learning history and paying attention to international current events, but then I would only be a short step away from persuading them that they would be better off having the government take control of their lives. In the name of ending corruption, promoting equality, and offering security, I'd convince them to adopt a government that takes away competition and the diverse choices and opportunities that result. I'd offer them a government that takes the fruit of their labor, that takes their freedom to make decisions as personal as their healthcare and education, and that takes their right even to defend themselves. Eventually, I'd take even their most basic freedoms of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. And, of course, who better to take control than me!

Finally, once I earned the people's trust by giving them everything they thought they wanted, I would turn my attention to people of color. Since they've been the backbone of hard work and faith in the Lord for so long, I'd have to be particularly subtle in my strategy. But the history of racism in this country gives me plenty of ammunition. First, I would convince as many people as possible to spend all of their mental and emotional energy being angry rather than thoughtfully engaged in productive activities. I would use true incidents to sell them a lie that black people are helpless victims of other people's choices, and that white nationalism is the primary hindrance keeping them down and out today. 

I'd persuade them to shift their efforts toward demanding reparations for past injustices, always keeping them focused on the past. This way I could distract and paralyze them from taking action on more pressing issues like building strong, two-parent families, raising their children in truth and hope, and taking advantage of job opportunities that would eventually lead to their promotion and leadership in society. I'd make sure they stayed dependent on me so I could dole out and withhold resources as I saw fit. They'd survive, but they would never thrive, and it would all appear to be their doing.

To be successful long-term, I would need to isolate them from white people so as not to risk allowing healthy, interracial relationships to form, so I would manipulate people of color to self-segregate using fear and unforgiveness. I could call these segregated areas "safe spaces", and promise happiness to all people by guaranteeing freedom from interactions with anyone who looks or thinks differently. In this way we would return to legalized segregation, but this time black people would segregate themselves, and who knows, they might even thank me for it.

If I were a misogynistic, sex-addicted, power-hungry, racist, white man, I would disguise the oldest forms of oppression as new, progressive ideas and get the people to carry out my plans themselves. Self-victimization, self-helplessness, self-oppression, and self-destruction would be my strategy. These are the keys to the takeover of a privileged, prosperous, powerful nation.

Wait a minute. I feel like I've seen this platform somewhere before.